There are people who would do anything to stop a healthy marriage – and watch it fall apart.

There are so many others who would rather throw the bones of good leadership to the dogs (you know what dogs do with bones, don’t you? They bury them somewhere for later and jealously guard them).

The topic on fear has been covered a number of times on articles that appear on Niabusiness.com.

This time we are at it again, only that we are tackling a different issue altogether.

I had a friend who once told me that he’d rather have a child out of wedlock than marry.

‘Why?’ I asked.

His reply, ‘Come on, you know how women can drive you mad sometimes plus they are smooth cheaters. It is hard to catch them red handed. Most of the women are also out there to turn your bank account into a cold desert. It is hard to trust them.’

That was about thirty one months ago if I am not wrong.

May be his outlook on marriage has changed.

Another friend told me that she doesn’t believe in love.

She argues that, ‘People just get used to each other. When they spot a shiny object, they’ll go after it, leaving your face flooded with tears and your heart scarred. That’s how so many people behave after getting married.’

Parenting also has its set of challenges.

Sometimes I see how mama struggles to raise us and all I can say is, ‘Would I be able to do what she’s doing? Balancing work, family, little income and still manage to smile.’

As a first born, I have always felt that I should lead by example.

I don’t want to influence my siblings to jump off the right track.

Telling them to do this and that works only 20% of the time.

I am a firm believer in action speaks louder than words.

I am trying everyday not to live only for myself but to incorporate others in my life too.

I struggle, just like many others, to become a better person everyday…and I believe that my actions can influence my siblings and even people beyond the borders of mother’s house.

For life too is a life commitment and too many people are scared to live especially when things aren’t going as they hoped.

But we all have to make the commitment to live and not get scared when the going gets tough and worry pushes us to look for quick fixes that add no real value to our lives.

The reasons why lifetime commitments scare people

1. Lifetime commitments need tact and dedication all the time

There’s no slacking off or the car veers off the road.

Three words can cause a marriage to take a new direction.

Look at this: Yes I cheated.

Imagine your partner telling you that after you’ve fought for half an hour – and imagine them saying those words as if they are doing you a favour.

Sometimes you work very hard and your efforts go unappreciated.

No one notices you giving your best. Some may notice your sweat only after you’re dead and gone.

And what do you call that?

The struggle that life is?

The reward for committing to do your best living?

Human nature?

2. Temptation gets bolder every time you take on these lifetime commitments

You can land in hot soup anytime if you are not careful enough.

Some people fear the soup.

They’d rather stay away from these lifetime commitments if that seems to be the only way (according to their thinking) to eat something else.

3. There are lots of rough times…patience is needed – a cupful isn’t enough

A bucketful won’t even last you a month but so many people are impatient.

Most people like doing things that tolerate impatience…but not for long.

They soon realize that the best thing to do is to take the road less travelled.

To put aside self-centredness.

To treat others as better than themselves.

To work from a mindset that no one owes them anything in this world…and after this realization to hoard not the love in their heart, like some do gold.

4. Lifetime commitments are a lot of hard work

Some people don’t like the hard work that comes along when they decide to embrace these lifetime commitments.

Less work means enjoyable life to them.

At least that’s how some people see it.

Staying in shape and healthy is not easy but doable.

Keeping your character intact when people are fine letting the world outside corrupt theirs isn’t easy but doable.

Forgiving people who wrong you (and forgiving yourself) isn’t easy but doable.

Choosing to live an extra-ordinary life instead of a mediocre one is hard work but doable.

Trusting the good in you and worrying less isn’t easy, you know.

It’s hard work.

Hard work all over the place.

That’s why so many people believe that they cannot commit. As an example, there are people who feel that they cannot handle their spoilt kid or handle a marriage.

To them, their feelings are facts.

Some take lessons from their parents or guardians – call it family tradition or something similar. And in these lessons, they learn to be scared to the point of indecisiveness – good intentions with no action, that’s how most of their days open and close.

Soon enough, they are just fed up. And stop trying hard as they potentially could.

Some let their friends, movies, soap operas and shows decide which direction their life takes.

Some won’t question what they hear or read.

They don’t allocate enough time to think for themselves, to be better. Why? Busy!

Tell them this hard truth and they start avoiding you or treating you coldly.

5. There are also people who just like to work alone

They want all their time to themselves.

They don’t want to share it.

If you look at the lifetime commitments mentioned in this article, team work is an important element.

To achieve you must collaborate.

Some people won’t do that.

To you: If you have personal experiences or a tip you’d like to share, feel free to do so in the comments section below. Share your story, your thoughts and observations. Let other Niabusiness.com readers know what you think of life-time commitments.

Find more ways to better your life and be a better person.